“Think for a minute, darling: in fairy tales it’s always the children who have the fine adventures. The mothers have to stay at home and wait for the children to fly in the window.”
― Audrey Niffenegger, The Time Traveler’s Wife
Well, isn’t that sad? No. No. No! As what my kids would say to everything I say.
NO. NO. NO!
As a working mother who is definitely a late bloomer in all aspect, I say NO to just waiting for my children to just fly in the window at our home and tell me about their explorations.
Call me a selfish mom. I know I am not. It’s not me. It’s our society’s preconceived notion that mothers need to sacrifice all of who they are for the sake of their children.
After all, these walking pieces of our hearts need to be nurtured 100% of the time, right? Wrong!
And who has time to explore their own innate desires? The correct answer to this rhetorical question – Mothers! Mothers should have time to explore their own innate desires, to follow their ambitions and to chase fine adventures in life. Alone or allow the kids to tag along.
Why? Because we have more than an audience. We have followers. These children are our followers. We lead, they follow.
The big question now is where do we take these followers?
For a start, let’s take them to a not-so popular place where nobody is tired living a monotonous routine, a place where everybody is not scared to show their true colors and not be judged for who they really are.
I see this place whenever our family is together. It’s pure bliss when we are among those people not scared to show their true colors, their passion. These are the times that I show my family that I am like them also, human!
Yes, that’s who we really are. Human. Yes, we are “superheroes,” especially during Mother’s Day. Teacher. Doctor. Negotiator. Homemaker. Chef. Carpenter. Architect. Designer. Among all other things. But the most important trait that we almost fail to acknowledge is that mothers are also human. Allowed to have imperfections. Allowed to aim for more for themselves. Allowed to dream. Allowed to be the person they want to be …”when I grow up…”
Being a mother, it’s okay to show our kids, our followers, that we are human being, a person with mood swings, with imperfect emotions, lack of skills, not know-it, a person who needs privacy to use the toilet, a person who dreams for herself and wishes all her dreams for her and for her family to come true.
Now, back to me, the self-proclaimed dreamer, the late bloomer mom of three. I grew up in a village far far away where riding an airplane going to somewhere is a big dream back in those days. Several years on, I got pregnant, way before I could travel and enjoy the “adult” world. The end? Actually no! That is the start of my story.
Having kids made me want to become the person I want them to become. I say this a lot. I have strong belief about this. I’ve seen this work several times about me and to all the moms and kids around us.
I don’t want my kids to drink carbonated drinks so I don’t drink cola around them which eventually turned me into non-cola drinker because I am always around my kids that those few moments I can drink cola.. I didn’t want to.
I wanted my kids to be able to explore the huge world and learn not to discriminate anybody with their skin color and where they are from.
Well, I am working on the non-discrimination part. I am a work in progress. I am human, I was trained by society I grew up in to worship white skin color, even become a white skin colored woman. (But this is a different blog story.)
The traveling and exploring the world part, that we can set goals to achieve with the family members. This is what turknoytravels100.com is all about. It’s about the parents (mom and dad) becoming explorers and travelers and getting to know the world because we want our turknoys, the three kids to be explorers and travelers in their own ways when they grow up.
Will we achieve this goal? God knows. We are an optimistic bunch. But whatever happens, at the very least, we are trying and enjoying the “now.”
As any travel cliché would say, its all about the journey. And we intend to enjoy the journey together as family, as dreamers.
As long as we don’t forget our own selves along the way. Even us moms. Yes, mothers’ own dreams can come true , too!
Turknoy Travels 100! 
As a woman, we also have the choice to follow what we desire and not follow what the society is telling us. We make our rules and our own story.
Honestly, I don’t know what I am dreaming for anymore . I sure would like a house of our own. Maybe more travels with the family? I think I should reconnect with my inner self again.
I super agree! It was not in my plans to have a kid until I met my 2nd partner. I thought it was the end of my old life (I was Sexy Nomad back then), but on the contrary, I just added another dimension to my whole being — that of being a mother. Our world, our passions, our true selves don’t need to stop just because we became a mom. Like you said, “We have followers. These children are our followers. We lead, they follow.” Super loved this post!
They said it is never too late to dream…So regardless of your life’s status and standing, it is never wrong to dream. Thanks for this post, I am reminded not to stop dreaming
Indeed, we should never give up on our dreams even when we became mums. Sure, it would be a lot challenging to realize dreams and goals or go to dream destinations now that we have a small people to worry about. But, I thought the presence of our children is all the more reason for us to dream and achieve our aspirations, to serve as good examples.
Our sentiments exactly!