“My life is your opinion, Mommy!” – said with conviction by our eldest Turknoy
One of the side benefits of traveling with kids is when there are idle time in between transportation schedules like waiting for the next plane schedule to the next city. During these times, open discussions with kids, whether parents are comfortable or not, is unavoidable.
We were talking about diverse topics such as religion, home education and how people influence one another knowingly or subconsciously. Out of nowhere, she said it.
“My life is your opinion, Mommy!”
And wow! Never did a statement hit the mark so accurately.
It’s true. In a good, bad, intense and very scary way.
Our kids are living the life based on our opinions. We do not go to church or mosque, we don’t send the kids to school, we make exploring a habit and a lifestyle.
These are our opinions and we live by these. Not a popular choice by majority, non-conventional. Scary choices yet we stand by these opinions.
Just to be so clear – we are not claiming we are right. Nor we want anybody’s approval either.
The Turknoy parents young age was so patterned with anyone else’s and we formed high opinions about it. We used to religiously go to church or mosque. We went to traditional schools and universities. We used to dream about high paying job with normal working hours and “settling down” to a nice cozy home with a garden.
Yes, we have strong opinions about how we used to live our lives. Our Turknoy kids lives are now based on these opinions.
An immense responsibility we are taking on to ourselves and not on to anybody else.
When Turknoy Mum was young, growing up in the village (it takes a village to raise a child, right?!), the teachers and neighbors would praise how smart she is, and how successful she would be being an accountant (uh, yeah, that specific because during those times, being Certified Public Accountant is synonymous to being successful.) Study hard, graduate from university and get a high paying job.
There are beautiful girls in the same village who were expected to be marry a rich man because they are “very beautiful.” Some of these beautiful girls turned into beautiful women waiting in vain for that rich men to come to their lives.
Well, Turknoy Mum is lucky she is smart and not that beautiful. She did finish her university and got a good job.
Opinions affect our lives. More than we allow it to. We are what we imagined but most of the times, we listen so much to what other people think should happen in our lives that it becomes our own imagination.
It is really important to hang out with the right people who will give us a good image of what we are capable of doing, of what future we deserve. Well-meaning people are usually parents, right? See, we are qualified to raise our kids based on our opinions! One of the reason we advocate strongly home education.
The other side of our family is not any different. When Turknoy Dad was growing up in his own village, he was raised to the very same ideals. Study hard, graduate from a university, get a job that would pay for his retirement, get married to a loving wife who will take care of him and kids in a very comfortable and clean (oh boy, do they clean their houses!) home.
Luckily, his inclinations to see the world prevailed and he didn’t marry a wife who will take care of his house. He did however, married a wife who can make him rich (not financially) beyond his dreams.
Yes, luckily, we were able to form opinions of our own so we can live out of our parents, our neighbors and society’s opinions.
We can still hear our eldest saying with conviction, “My life is your opinion, Mommy!
This we reply:
“Well, thank you, kids for living your life based on our opinions. For now. We sincerely hope that we are enabling you to make your own opinions and have the courage to live by these.”
Life is too short to live by somebody else’s opinions.
We are all winging how to live our lives. Nobody knows for sure, what is right. And what was right then, could be so wrong now.
Our lives, our opinions.
Your life, your opinion.
High respect and high five for that!